Blond and Beautiful
by raks0
Summary: "Harry James Potter, you are hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."


**Disclaimer: I do not own the worlds of either Ouran or Harry Potter**

**A/N- I am planning to continue this, but I rarely get the time to write. The last thing I want is to start but never finish, so what I am planning to do is write each chapter as a one-shot occurring within the same verse. So this story will be marked as complete even though I may add chapters later on. Please don't expect a long complex plot because frankly I don't have to discipline to write one.**

It was one of those rare times where Albus Dumbledore was truly lost for words. In fact there weren't even any thoughts or emotions just a loud buzzing noise as he stared blankly at the young man in front of him.

The young man in question was the cause of his current mental malfunction, and the cheeky sod hadn't even bothered to explain himself; he just came in, plonked himself down in a chair and raised an eyebrow. Cheeky, bloody, sod.

Albus opened and closed his mouth several times before formulating the sentence he never thought he would have to say (though Lord knows he should have in the past).

"Harry James Potter, you are hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Harry grinned as he turned to look at the cause of his expulsion; a wall was missing, and beyond, what should have been the west wing of the castle, was merely sky and rubble.

For future reference lighting extremely refined muggle explosives in a magically saturated area makes the resulting explosion twenty times bigger. But, Harry pondered, as he packed his bags, C4 is a gem of a tool for destroying evidence.

**XXXXXXX**

Unsurprisingly, after destroying a good portion of the most famous and resilient magical school in the world, other magical schools had been less than welcoming to the young Lord Potter. It seemed that being the Boy-Who-Conquered, or one of the top ten wealthiest wizards, or even, and, in Harry's opinion the most important, a 'sex god', was not enough to persuade anyone to accept the mayhem that accompanied him. Harry and chaos were part and parcel; they went together like Ben and Jerry, or Laurel and Hardy, or, more accurately, like fly on shit.

Thus, Harry was attending a muggle school in Japan, where facilities were updated often enough that a little destruction here or there would barely be noticed. And so, while Harry was being driven up to the pink building on his first day, he wondered how strong the foundations of Ouran High School really were.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry's transfer into Class 1A was surprisingly smooth; it seemed that transfer pupils were quite common especially when most of their parents ran international businesses and moved on a regular basis. The last transfer student, however, had moved to Japan, it seemed, purely for cosplay purposes; because frankly, which other school would allow her to change into those ludicrous outfits without batting an eyelid. Yesterday she had worn this cheerleader type outfit, the skirt was so short that Harry only had lean back two and a half inches to catch a glimpse of her knickers; they were black silk and had matched her outfit. Good Lord he loved this place!

It had only been a week before Harry had fully settled into his life at Ouran. He had caught up in his muggle subjects in four days with intensive study, the best tutors and a liberal amount of wit sharpening potion. Harry was no stranger to studying, to defeat Voldemort, Harry had to learn at an advanced pace; by the end of the war Harry was well beyond the Hogwarts curriculum. This possibly explained how Harry became bored enough to experiment with explosives and blow up the castle. And on that line of thinking, he was looking forward to checking out the chemistry labs. Volatile substances just sitting there in jars, waiting for him to play; it's like a psychotic little demon's wet dream.

It had been seven days and five hours before he found out about the Black Magic club and decided to check it out. It was seven days, five hours and fifteen minutes before he was accosted by a tall blonde with a pert bum, and dragged to the third music room. And this, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how he met the Host Club.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Harry had deciphered, through all the flowery language, that Tamaki Suoh wanted him to join the Host Club. Having said that, he could have been mistaken, Tamaki-san was currently spinning gloriously on the spot before ending with a rather dramatic pose; maybe he was asking Harry to join his dancing troupe, though why he though Harry would be good he didn't know. The only dance move Harry was any good at was the funky chicken; but Hermione had told him never to do that in public, maybe he wasn't doing it right.

But besides that, Tamaki-san had reminded him of something…or was it someone. Harry couldn't be sure, he had seen it when he was very young…

Tamaki, oblivious to Harry's thought process was still talking, "The Host club exists to bring beauty in young girls' worlds…what could be more wonderful a goal…"

What was it? It was just on the tip of his tongue…

"…after-all, walking together, would we not make a wonderful picture?"

The Host club were starting to gather round, attracted by the racket that Tamaki was making. Barbara? Ah, close but not quite right, what was it again?

"…do you not agree?"

"Barbie."

"…hai?"

"Barbie. You look like Barbie."

And with that Harry left to go to the Black Magic Club leaving the broken shards of Tamaki's psyche in his wake.

**A/N- Please review!**


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